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I was looking through my Facebook memories and about 3 years ago the daycare kiddos and I were talking about all the things they want for Christmas. Of course, they listed every toy they could think of, but when I got to one little boy he said, "I want a Nintendo DS...and to spend time with my Mom." (Mom tears)
Let's get a couple thoughts out of the way real quick! Yes, kids are freaking nuts! They can, and will, take you to the brink of absolute insanity, on an almost daily basis. This does not necessarily get better with age, mama's just get better at handling it. (#wine) To say they are tiny narcissistic, spawns of Satan, is putting it lightly, some days. (Just saying what we're all guilty of thinking at one time or another.)
But - they also see us as Mama Goddesses (this is how we should see/feel about ourselves - capable, confident, sexy, amazing Goddesses...but that's a whole other post!) I'm not kidding. In their eyes, we hung the moon, we know the answer for everything, we are perfect, we are their very best friends and heroes. They love us more than we love ourselves. Let that sink in for a minute. More than we love ourselves. (Feel guilty for that spawn of Satan thing, don't ya? I know, I do too.)
Anyway, back to the daycare conversation - after the Nintendo DS "I want to spend time with my mom" comment our conversation spiraled into a full on preschool aged outpouring of all the things they love, and it was ALL parent related. I wish I could have recorded it for everyone to see and hear. It was full of...
I love when my dad plays baseball with me.
I love when my mom tickles me.
I love when my mom chases me.
I love when we eat ice cream.
I love when we play outside.
I love when we cook.
I love when we color.
I love when we read books.
I love when my mom brushes my hair.
Seriously, if adults could open up like this, our relationships would flourish and be fulfilling and amazing! (Side thought because my brain is craycray...How/why did we all learn to not open up like that? Again, another post, for another day.)
Notice anything? Not one thing they said costs money. Nada. None of them. They don't truly want material things. They only want to be with us. The material "necessities" are honestly something that we project onto them throughout their childhood (keeping up with the Joneses anyone?), not what they want and need as children. They need us. They need you mama. Just you. In all your thoughts of how you aren't doing everything right, how you messed up this or that, how overwhelmed you are. They don't NEED 1/2 of what you are trying to do.
Whew! Now stop. Breathe. Finish your glass...and get another one. What can you let go of that will allow you to be more present right now, for yourself and your monkeys? (I don't care if they are two or 25, no time like the present to get started, right?) Make a list, then do it. Do it now. Get rid of, and stop doing, whatever is heavy, not fun and not made of pure love for motherhood, for your children, for your life.
Holy crap! Doesn't that feel lighter, and rejuvenating, and amazing! Now go get your tickle monster on Mama! No matter what you've been taught and told for your entire life, it's not meant and doesn't have to be all bills and work, it's OK to laugh and play, A LOT!
Hey...before you X out, feel free to leave your thoughts in a comment, or click that Get In Touch button up there and email me personally, or sign up for my newsletter!
I'm a mama of three crazy, hilarious, amazing kids and the owner of an in home daycare for over 11 years.